The Reconciliation of Memories and Other Poems
Syafri Arifuddin Masser
Translated into English by Novia Rika Perwitasari
Illustration by Cindy Saja.
The Reconciliation of Memories
always and certainly the haze of the past is never really gone
like a heap of husks waiting for a small flame, will one day ignite
and then, burnt, become the soot of revenge.
the fog of that incident is pouring like rainfall and creating the splash
of bloody scenes, sprinkling into memory’s deepest trench.
slowly becoming a lake of wounds.
how much of your blood was spilled?
deep in the recesses of memory, fights always start with
vague news and hissing rumors. coiling like
snakes and spreading like tendrils.
war will create dreams of peace. it will not end
if blood has spilled into the cup of memory
because once it is poured, only tears will remain.
Mamuju, 2018
Illustration by Cindy Saja.
The Peace of the Past
you hunt something unchaseable
though it left a legible trace.
you fall silent in the face of a troubled mood
awaiting the certainty of stories about humanity’s crimes
which will always end with a reconciled heart.
“how tough are you at concealing a grudge?”
as strong as holding embers with
the strength of molars
you embrace the scar the same way you wrap
all memories in a forced smile. hiding from
the fatigue of vows to settle the remaining sores.
your chest feels tight, filled with the gravel of memories
meanwhile history is a joke full of interpretation
swhere the dark past is only one line of shading
in the boisterous sketch of colorful life, covered by a veil.
Mamuju, 2018
Illustration by Cindy Saja.
Life Full of Terror
those tremors
sat me down in a question
would we still be suing each other
if tomorrow all that was left was what fell out?
Mamuju, 2018
Illustration by Cindy Saja.
The Mutakallim
in the midst of the eternal rivalry of leader-changing season
at the base of your tongue they quibble and hide.
on your body they raise shields and
a never-ending battle.
you will be a slave or perhaps a pawn
when you consciously sketch the verse of water into lips
that birth a bitterness.
you're no longer just a mediator but a judge
who sentences those who are amiss
in faith and less in piety.
interests are inevitable and you are resolute
in keeping your spirits high though it requires something
to be defeated. But what kind of victory are we fighting for?
Mamuju, May 17th 2018
Illustration by Cindy Saja.
Fatalist
together we often think about many things
and the future. everybody's desires,
including we who force ourselves to grow up.
we settle and stare at joyful days
imagining one long morning,
when we are reluctant to wake and we keep cuddling.
but is there some light slipping through the curve
of your arms when night comes the embrace
becomes darkness that annihilates us?
no one will be saved from the waves by an ark
fearful of sailing but who will be the mighty captain
wading through the ocean in a frail ark
felled by distance.
We are arguing over commentation
of how the future will be conceived
where will this dream walk toward
after reality has taught us to beat our chests.
now what should we hear.
our hearts and empty words refuse
to embrace one another.
Makassar, 2016
Illustration by Cindy Saja.
Agonia
the question is a blade and
inside our head it slices every
time.
happiness cannot be the answer
for every question in our head. the clock
is ticking slowly like
a stab in the heart. indulging in everything
is never enough to abate the bitterness
of heart—as a part most in need
of nutrition as logic becomes less reliable.
is there anyone willing to contain the wound’s dripping
without first looking at their own deeds?
the world keeps spinning and inside
we choose to be wild.
what kind of life
are we building from a compassion
that is slowly fading away.
Mamuju, 2017
Illustration by Cindy Saja.
No Reality in This World
the words live in our lack of life
reading the world that reads itself
as a delusive hiding place.
we complain to a sentence of paradox
that chooses to be a diary so it can hear
much more than a fragile ear.
we love a pinch of words sought
from alienation and the things we cannot
handle from ourselves which have been stolen.
we share every secret without hesitation
with chattering strangers
framed and displayed in windows of cliché.
we leave the quietude of the rite of words
and stake our messages to the ancestral sites
before enslaving ourselves to illusory praises.
this world is a party of merriment and applause
full of fraudulence for the sake of grand facades.
Mamuju, 2018
Illustration by Cindy Saja.
If Home Really Exists
if home really exists
then why do we cross the threshold of air
and drift on the open ocean
for asylum and citizenship.
if home really exists
then why must tents be built
next to the streets, clearings and parks
in the middle of soaring high buildings.
if home really exists
then why do missiles hurl across the horizon
seeking nests and targets where troops
are constructing barracks in our
yards?
Mamuju, 2018
© Syafri Arifuddin Masser
English translation © Novia Rika Perwitasari
REKONSILIASI INGATAN DAN PUISI-PUISI LAINNYA
Syafri Arifuddin Masser
Ilustrasi oleh Cindy Saja.
Rekonsiliasi Ingatan
selalu dan pasti halimun masa silam tak pernah betul-betul pergi
seperti sekam yang menunggu kecil nyala api, suatu saat tersulut
dan terbakar menjadi jelaga dendam.
kabut peristiwa itu seperti hujan jatuh dan membentuk tempias
adegan-adegan berdarah, memercik di palung paling dalam ingatan.
pelan-pelan membentuk telaga luka.
berapa banyak tumpah darahmu?
jauh ke dalam ceruk ingatan, pertengkaran selalu dimulai dari
kabar yang kabur dan desas desus yang berdesis. melilit bagai
ular dan menjalar bagai sulur.
perang akan menciptakan angan-angan ketenangan. tidak ada
yang berakhir jika darah telah tumpah ke dalam cawan ingatan
sebab sekali dituang, yang tinggal hanyalah air mata.
Mamuju, 2018
Ilustrasi oleh Cindy Saja.
Islah Masa Silam
kau memburu sesuatu yang tidak mampu terkejar
meski ia tinggalkan denai yang mudah terbaca.
kau termangu di hadapan gelagat rasa
yang resahmenunggu kepastian kisah kejahatan kemanusiaan
yang ditamatkan selalu dengan hati yang islah.
“setangguh apa kau memendam dendam?”
sekuat memegang bara api dengan
sekuat gigitan dengan gigi geraham
kau dekap bilur luka sebagaimana kau menyalut
ingatan dengan senyum terpaksa. sembunyi dari
lejar kaul penyelesaian luka rasa yang tinggal sisa.
kau sesak dada tertindih kerakal ingatan
sementara sejarah adalah kelakar penuh tafsiran
bahwa kelam masa silam hanyalah satu garis arsir
dalam riuh sketsa hidup penuh warna terkatup tabir.
Mamuju, 2018
Ilustrasi oleh Cindy Saja.
Life Full Of Terror
guncangan-guncangan itu
mendudukkanku di dalam pertanyaan
masihkah kita akan saling menggugat
bila esok hanya sisa tinggal yang tanggal?
Mamuju, 2018
Ilustrasi oleh Cindy Saja.
Mutakallim
di tengah seteru abadi musim pergantian pemimpin
di pangkal lidahmu mereka berdalih dan sembunyi.
di tubuhmu mereka membangun perisai dan
pertempuran yang tak pernah usai.
kau hendak menjadi budak atau barangkali bidak
ketika dengan sadar kau arsir ayat air menjadi bibir
yang melahirkan getir.
kau tak lagi menjadi hakam melainkan hakim
yang memberi hukum bagi mereka yang salah
dalam iman dan kalah dalam alim.
kepentingan adalah keniscayaan dan kau teguh
menjaga elan kendati karenanya ada yang perlu
dikalahkan. Tapi, kemenangan apa yang sedang
kita perjuangkan?
Mamuju, 17 Mei 2018
Ilustrasi oleh Cindy Saja.
Fatalis
kita sering bersama memikirkan banyak hal
dan masa depan. keinginan semua orang,
termasuk kita yang memaksa tumbuh dewasa.
kita menetap dan menatap hari penuh bahagia
membayangkan di suatu pagi yang panjang,
kita enggan bangun dan betah dalam pagutan.
tapi masih adakah cahaya terselip di kedua
lengkung lenganmu jika malam tiba dekapan
itu berubah gelap yang meniadakan kita?
tak ada yang selamat dari ombak oleh bahtera
yang takut berlayar namun siapa nahkoda kuat
mengarungi lautan dengan bahtera yang rapuh
ditebas jarak.
kita saling silang selisih dalam takwil
perihal bagaimana masa depan ditaswir.
ke mana arah langkah mimpi ini akan tiba
setelah realitas ajari kita menebahkan dada.
apa yang harus kita dengar sekarang.
sanubari dan basa-basi kita menolak
saling memeluk.
Makassar, 2016
Ilustrasi oleh Cindy Saja.
Agonia
pertanyaan itu adalah mata pisau dan
di dalam kepala kita ia mengiris setiap
waktu.
bahagia tak mampu menjadi jawaban
dari segala tanya dalam kepala. Jarum
jam berdetik dengan perlahan bagai
menusuk dada. bergelimangan segala
tak cukup menjadi penawar atas getas
hati—sebagai bagian paling butuh
nutrisi sebab logika semakin sangsi.
masihkah ada yang siap menampung luka
tanpa perlu terlebih dahulu melihat laku?
dunia tetap berputar dan di dalamnya
kita memilih menjadi liar. hidup seperti
apa yang kita bangun dari kepedulian
yang pelan-pelan memudar.
Mamuju, 2017
Ilustrasi oleh Cindy Saja.
Di Dunia Ini Tidak Ada Kenyataan
kata hidup dalam ketidakhidupan kita
membaca dunia yang membaca dirinya
sebagai tempat sembunyi yang palsu.
kita mengadu pada sederet kalimat paradoks
yang memilih jadi buku diari agar mendengar
lebih banyak dari rapuh daun telinga.
kita mencintai sejumput kata yang kita cari
dari keterasingan dan hal-hal yang tak bisa
kita atasi dari diri sendiri yang telah dicuri.
kita membagi segala rahasia tanpa ragu
kepada orang asing yang bermulut bising
dengan pigura dalam etalase yang klise.
kita meninggalkan sunyi ritus kata-kata
dan menanggalkan pesan pada situs tetua
lalu menghamba pada pujian yang maya.
dunia ini adalah pesta pora tepuk tangan
penuh tipu daya demi rupa palsu yang raya.
Mamuju, 2018
Ilustrasi oleh Cindy Saja.
Jika Rumah Betul-betul Ada
jika rumah betul-betul ada
lalu kenapa kita melintasi ambang udara
dan terombang-ambing dalam lepas samudra
demi suaka dan kartu tanda warga negara.
jika rumah betul-betul ada
lalu kenapa tenda-tenda harus didirikan
di bibir jalan, tanah lapang dan lapangan
di tengah gedung-gedung tinggi menjulang.
jika rumah betul-betul ada
lalu kenapa misil-misil melaju di cakrawala
mencari sarang dan sasaran dengan serdadu
menaruh tangsi-tangsi di pekarangan rumah
kita?
Mamuju, 2018
© Syafri Arifuddin Masser
SYAFRI ARIFUDDIN MASSER was born in Sirindu, West Sulawesi, on 13 July 1994. He is a graduate student majoring in English Literature at Muslim University of Indonesia’s Faculty of Literature. During the past year he has worked part-time as a radio announcer and tutor, but is now spending more time at home to manage his podcast Semesta Poetry, as well as YouTube book reviews, which you can find under Syafri Arifuddin Masser. His poems are archived on Instagram: @puisisyafri. Syafri is also a literacy activist in Mamuju, West Sulawesi.
NOVIA RIKA PERWITASARI is a banker who is passionate about poetry. She has won first prize in several Indonesian poetry competitions held by Majelis Sastra Bandung (2016), Keluarga Studi Sastra Tiga Gunung (2017), Writers on Vacation (2019), etc. She is the founder of the website, Poetry Prairie, which led her to become one of Indonesia’s delegates at the 19th World Festival of Youth & Students in Russia (2017). Her poems have been published in various poetry anthologies in Indonesia, and her English poems have also been published in international platforms such as Dying Dahlia Review, Optimum Zine, and “Haiku Masters” by NHK TV Japan.
CINDY SAJA is an illustrator who started her career in 2010. She completed her Fine Arts education at IKJ in 2011 and Master of Design education at ITB in 2014. Cindy's illustration style tends towards cartoons which use bright and minimalist colors. Her collaborative work doesn’t focus on one particular character, but rather the content that will be accompanied by the illustration itself. This is why the audience will find differences in the materials used, such as pencil shading, monochrome watercolors with particular accents of color, or digital cartoons. Cindy has collaborated with several authors and artists including Gouri Mirpuri, Butet Manurung, Rani Pramesti, Rene Suhardono, Erikar Lebang, and many more.