A Bleak Note and Other Poems
Wiji Thukul
Translated by Eliza Vitri Handayani
A BLEAK NOTE
a black cat sneaks out
and jumps off the roof
in the dark three men hide
holding metal bars
a black cat tiptoes
followed by shadows
at the end of the alley
three men grunt and strike
a moon swaddled in clouds
watches a festival of poverty
as the cat's meat
fills the men's belly
THIS CITY IS YOURS
you're free to live
behind the tall buildings
you're free to sleep
and wake up when you please
when it rains
when it gets cold
you can seek warmth
by the restaurant's stove
as it cooks chicken and pork
as forks clang and shoes shine
and imported cars dash by
you're free to bathe
the river is yours
you can wash your body
with wastes from the factory
are the lights in the park
not pretty and bright?
is it not nice enough
to sleep beneath the sky?
my friends
this city is yours
except those tall buildings
behind those iron walls
keep out!
I AM STILL WHOLE AND THE WORDS HAVE NOT YET PERISHED
I am not a celebrity who makes headlines
But I am always bad news
For those in power
My poems aren't poetry
They're dark words
They sweat, they push one another to get out
You can't kill them, although you strike my eye
You can't kill them, although you tear me from home
Although you stab me with loneliness, you just can't kill them
I've paid the price
With my time, my strength, my wounds
The words ask for their dues
They always say to me, you're still alive
Yes, I am still whole
And the words have not yet perished
THE FUGITIVE
a different shirt
a different pair of pants
a different haircut
a different book to read
a different topic to talk about
a different name
a different identity
a different expression
being yourself
is
a subversive act
in this country
so
always beware
of the police
the army
the law
prison awaits
anyone
who refuses
to be someone else
A GIFT FOR THE NEWLYWEDS
hello newlyweds
I've come with a gift
a poet
a fugitive
forgive me
for interrupting your wedding night
may I please have a room
to lie down and sleep
hello newlyweds
here comes your guest again
here is a poet
hunted by the army
there is no happiness
in a land without freedom
and there will never be freedom
if when you dissent you're a ghost
hello newlyweds
I've come with a gift
here is a poet
hunted by the army
UNTITLED (INDEPENDENCE DAY)
independence day is coming
everyone is flying flags
but I am only watching
from a house across the road
peeking from the keyhole
as I am wanted by the rulers
for months I haven't seen the sky
only listening to the sounds of life
pulsing, dashing, laughing
but I can see nobody, no faces
I'm imprisoned but not in prison
I'm jailed but not in jail
because everyday life
is the true prison for the people of this nation
"Bunga dan Tembok", Andreas Iswinarto
FLOWERS AND WALLS
If we were flowers
We'd be the flowers that you don't wish to grow
You would rather steal our lands and build houses there
If we were flowers
We'd be the flowers that you don't wish to see
You would rather strip our lands and build roads and fences
If we were flowers
We'd be the flowers that were cut from our own lands
If we are flowers
Then you are walls
But on those walls we have spread our seed
One day we will grow, united in our faith
And now we have grown, united in our faith
Anywhere, everywhere
Tyranny must fall
A SONG FOR LOVEMAKING
If I were a number, I'd be a fraction
:
one that becomes whole without breaking
let me be a fraction of Your wholeness
since You are not whole without me
and You are not perfect without us
If I were a number, I'd be a fraction
:
I complete Your eyes with light
As You perfect the fire's light
You are red I am hot You are hot I am red
burning and burned for as long as we shall live
If I were a number, I'd be a fraction
:
I am completing You
we become one in the air
isn't it so, God?
A MAN ROAMS IN THE SPIRIT WORLD
a man roams in the spirit world
so familiar with the darkness
it leads to the center of the light
only to it will he surrender
a man roams in the spirit world
he asks again what his name is
which wind may lead him home
only to it will he surrender
a man roams in the spirit world
he reaches for the gate between existence and nonexistence
he gapes and parts the veil of destiny
he peers into the universe within men
independent and free
NOTE '97
The rain pours heavy tonight
Cold creeps from my feet to my joints
In silence my heart splits
Remembering
The time I took my leave of you
I only held you
And kissed
Your cheeks
I had no time to kiss the children
I was worried
I might wake them up, they looked so peaceful
I wonder if they ask
Why I'm not there
A week from now, a month from now
And if I have to stay away longer than hoped
My emotions are pummeling my chest
At that time
I only whispered a few words
By the door
You let me go
But your eyes didn't
As time was running out
I had to fly
It's now been six months since I left
I can still feel
How my heart beat
How my feet raced
Because of the fascists
The greedy tyrants
I will come home
Perhaps at midnight
Perhaps at dawn
I will come home
Perhaps
But don't
Wait for me
I will come home and I will leave again
Because our rights
Have been mauled
At universities
In the factories
At the courts
And at home
They've forced themselves in
And stomped on our faces
If one day the children ask why
I rarely come home
Tell them
Your father never wished to be a hero
But he was forced to be a criminal
By the rulers
The cruel tyrants
If they ask
What was he searching for?
Tell them
He left to steal back our rights
That were taken and robbed from us
© Wiji Thukul
English translation © Eliza Vitri Handayani
SAJAK SURAM
kucing hitam jalan pelan
meloncat turun dari atap
tiga orang muncul dalam gelap
sembunyi menggenggam besi
kucing hitam jalan pelan-pelan
diikuti bayang-bayang
ketika sampai di mulut gang
tiga orang menggeram
melepaskan pukulan
bulan disaput awan meremang
saksikan perayaan kemiskinan
daging kucing pindah
ke perut orang!
KOTA INI MILIK KALIAN
di belakang gedung-gedung tinggi
kalian boleh tinggal
kalian bebas tidur di mana-mana kapan saja
kalian bebas bangun sewaktu kalian mau
jika kedinginan karena gerimis atau hujan
kalian bisa mencari hangat
di sana ada restoran
kalian bisa tidur dekat kompor penggorengan
bakmi ayam dan babi
denting garpu dan sepatu mengilap
di samping sedan-sedan dan mobil-mobil bikinan Jepang
kalian bisa mandi kapan saja
sungai itu milik kalian
kalian bisa cuci badan dengan limbah-limbah industri
apa belum cukup terang benderang itu
lampu merkuri taman
apa belum cukup nyaman tidur di bawah langit kawan
kota ini milik kalian
kecuali gedung-gedung tembok pagar besi itu: jangan!
AKU MASIH UTUH DAN KATA-KATA BELUM BINASA
Aku bukan artis pembuat berita
Tapi aku selalu kabar buruk buat penguasa
Puisiku bukan puisi
Tapi kata-kata gelap
Yang berkeringat dan berdesakan mencari jalan
Ia tak mati-mati, meski bola mataku diganti
Ia tak mati-mati, meski bercerai dengan rumah
Ditusuk-tusuk sepi, ia tak mati-mati
telah kubayar yang dia minta
umur-tenaga-luka
Kata-kata itu selalu menagih
Padaku ia selalu berkata, kau masih hidup
Aku memang masih utuh
dan kata-kata belum binasa
BURON
baju lain
celana lain
potongan rambut lain
buku yang dibaca lain
bahan percakapan lain
nama lain
identitas lain
ekspresi lain
menjadi
diri
sendiri
adalah
tindakan
subversi
di negeri ini
maka
selalu siaga
polisi
tentara
hukum dan penjara
bagi siapa saja
yang menolak
menjadi orang lain
KADO UNTUK PENGANTIN BARU
pengantin baru
ini ada kado untukmu
seorang penyair
yang diburu-buru
maaf aku mengganggu
malam bulan madumu
aku minta kamar satu
untuk membaringkan badanku
pengantin baru
ini datang lagi tamu
seorang penyair
yang dikejar-kejar serdadu
memang tak ada kenikmatan
di negeri tanpa kemerdekaan
selamanya tak akan ada kemerdekaan
jika berbeda pendapat menjadi hantu
pengantin baru
ini ada kado untukmu
seorang penyair
yang dikejar-kejar serdadu
TANPA JUDUL (BULAN AGUSTUS SUDAH TIBA)
bulan agustus sudah tiba
penduduk ramai-ramai pasang bendera
tapi aku hanya lihat yang di seberang rumah saja
kuintip dari lubang kunci
sebab aku dikejar-kejar penguasa
sudah puluhan hari aku tak melihat angkasa
kehidupan di sekelilingku kusimak
dari detak, deru, dan tawanya
aku tak bisa lihat wujud
dan wajahnya
aku ditahan bukan dipenjara
aku disel bukan dibui
sebab kehidupan sehari-hari
adalah penjara nyata
rakyat negeri ini
BUNGA DAN TEMBOK
Seumpama bunga
Kami adalah bunga yang tak
Kauhendaki tumbuh
Engkau lebih suka membangun rumah dan merampas tanah
Seumpama bunga
Kami adalah bunga yang tak
Kaukehendaki adanya
Engkau lebih suka membangun jalan raya dan pagar besi
Seumpama bunga
Kami adalah bunga yang dirontokkan di bumi kami sendiri
Jika kami bunga
Engkau adalah tembok
Tapi di tubuh tembok itu telah kami sebar biji-biji
Suatu saat kami akan tumbuh bersama dengan keyakinan: engkau harus hancur!
Dalam keyakinan kami
Di mana pun, tirani harus tumbang!
LAGU PERSETUBUHAN
kalau angka aku pun angka tak genap
:
tapi satu mana lengkap tanpa yang pecah
maka aku pun rela jadi sepersekian dari keutuhan-Mu
sebab tak lengkap engkau tanpa aku
sebab tak sempurna engkau tanpa manusia
kalau angka aku pun angka tak genap
:
maka kulengkapi mata-Mu dengan cahaya
kausempurnakan cahaya dalam api
kau merah aku panas kau panas aku merah
terbakar membakar sepanjang adanya manusia
kalau angka aku pun angka tak genap
:
melengkapi-Mu
demikian, kita bersetubuh dalam udara
bukankah begitu Tuhan?
SEORANG LELAKI KELANA DI DUNIA BATIN
seorang lelaki kelana di dunia batin
sudah akrab dengan gelap
yang menuntun ke pusat cahaya
hanya kepadanya ia akan menyerah
seorang lelaki kelana di dunia batin
kembali tanya siapa nama dirinya
mata angin mana membimbing pulang
hanya kepadanya ia akan menyerah
seorang lelaki kelana di dunia batin
merambah gapura hakikat ada dan tiada
menganga menguak tabir nasib
melihat isi alam raya dalam manusia
bebas dan merdeka
CATATAN '97
gerimis menderas tengah malam ini
dingin dari telapak kaki hingga ke sendi-dendi
dalam sunyi hati menggigit lagi
ingat
saat pergi
dan pipi kananmu
kucium
tak sempat mencium anak-anak
khawatir
membangunkan tidurnya (terlalu nyenyak)
bertanya apa mereka saat terjaga
dan aku tak ada (seminggu sesudah itu
sebulan sesudah itu
dan ternyata lebih panjang daripada yang kalian harapkan)
dada mengepal perasaan
waktu itu
cuma terbisik beberapa patah kata
di depan pintu
kaulepas aku
meski matamu tak terima
karena waktu sempit
aku harus gesit
genap setengah tahun aku pergi
aku masih bisa merasakan
bergegasnya pukulan jantung
dan langkahku
karena penguasa fasis
yang gelap mata
aku pasti pulang
mungkin tengah malam ini
mungkin subuh hari
pasti
dan mungkin
tapi jangan
kautunggu
aku pasti pulang dan pasti pergi lagi
karena hak telah dikoyak-koyak
tidak di kampus
tidak di pabrik
tidak di pengadilan
bahkan rumah pun mereka masuki
muka kita sudah diinjak
kalau kelak anak-anak bertanya mengapa
aku jarang pulang
katakan ayahmu tak ingin jadi pahlawan
tapi dipaksa menjadi penjahat
oleh penguasa
yang sewenang-wenang
kalau mereka bertanya
“apa yang kau cari?”
jawab dan katakan
dia pergi untuk merampok
haknya yang dirampas dan dicuri
© Wiji Thukul
Dewi Candraningrum
WIJI THUKUL—born Widji Widodo in Solo, Central Java, 26 August 1963—is modern Indonesia’s foremost people’s poet. With humble words but extraordinary courage, his poems recount the everyday struggle of the poor and downtrodden: lack of opportunities, unfair wages, the police criminalizing them for organizing and trying to make a living, corporations stealing their lands. By turning his experiences into poetry, he created space for people like him, so often ignored by the literary establishment, and made them realize they have the power to resist and rise against the injustices they suffer.
In an era where defying the authorities could land you in jail or worse, Thukul wrote: Come join us / let’s be a nightmare for the president. His most famous line—only one word remains: fight!—is a popular cry among activists and demonstrators. The power of his poems, which he read at workers and farmers rallies, attracted authorities’ attention. In 1996 he joined the People’s Democratic Party, Indonesia’s first opposition party in the authoritarian New Order regime. That cemented his status as a wanted man. He fled to Borneo, moving from town to town. His family and friends last heard from him in February 1998. Many suspect he was disappeared by New Order’s special forces. Thukul is now an icon for people’s power in Indonesia.
His poems have been compiled in two collections: Aku Ingin Jadi Peluru and Nyanyian Akar Rumput. In 1991 Thukul received the Wertheim Encourage Award, in 2002 a Yap Thiam Hien human rights award, and in 2014 he was selected as an ASEAN literary figure. Recently a movie was made based on his life: Solo, Solitude, which has been well received in international film festivals.
InterSastra is proud to present several of Wiji Thukul’s poems in English translation, accompanied by paintings by Andreas Iswinarto, who is touring an exhibition of artworks based on Thukul's poems. His exhibitions have been attacked and disbanded by hardline and paramilitary organizations in different cities, but he won't back down. The poems are translated and published with the permission of Thukul’s daughter, poet Fitri Nganthi Wani. The publication of these poems mark the relaunch of InterSastra's Defiant Voices series, which we are now calling Unrepressed.
ELIZA VITRI HANDAYANI is a novelist and creator of the art events House of the Unsilenced and Fashion ForWords. Her latest novel is From Now On Everything Will Be Different, which explores how free Indonesia really became after the start of democratic reforms in 1998. Her short fiction have been included in prestigious anthologies such as The Griffith Review: New Asia Now, Fixi Novo’s Heat Flesh Trash, The Near and the Far volume 2, and BooksActually’s Gold Standard. She is also the founder and editor of InterSastra and a translator. Her translations have appeared in Asymptote, Modern Poetry in Translation, and others. She is an alumni of the Arts Leadership Program 2019 with Australia Arts Council. Find links to some of her works on www.elizavitri.com and greet her via Instagram or Twitter @elizavitri.